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Michelle

1/15/2017

 
“I was diagnosed bipolar in January 2015, but I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life --- and suicidal thoughts since I was 16. Depression is debilitating. It’s isolating; you don’t want to get out, you don’t want to talk to people, you don’t want to seek help, you feel worthless. When my depression is out of control, I feel extremely insecure, like I’m no good, like I’ve ruined my life, though I’ve done good things. When I’m experiencing anxiety, it’s very physical: my heart pumps hard and fast, my chest feels like someone is pounding on it, my legs even get tingly. I won’t hang out with people because I’m nervous about social situations and how I might come across. It’s hard. Before I was diagnosed, I kept most of it inside and channeled it into other things like music and art, but then one day everything just hit the fan and I had to go to Lakeside. If it weren’t for Lakeside, for the help I’ve gotten there, the coping skills I’ve learned, and the mood stabilizers I’m on, I think I would be dead now. They changed my life.
 
“I’m a classical guitarist, a singer/songwriter, and a music teacher by profession, so I don’t have a degree in psychology or counseling, but I can listen. If someone I’m talking with is experiencing anxiety, depression, or maybe paranoia, I can relate; we can talk about it. And I can offer to help them find the resources they need if that’s what they want.
 
“We have to beat the stigma associated with mental health issues. I talked to someone just today who told me he was scared he couldn’t get a job because he deals with depression. We need to be more open about these things. Talking about it will make everyone realize that it’s okay; other people experience it too. Don’t run from it. Sit with it. Be with it. We can try to help each other, but professional help is also available; treatment is available. I make a point of talking openly about my struggles on Facebook; I want to make it okay to have these conversations.”

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If you're interested in connecting with Michelle, she frequently attends the community worship & breakfast [Wednesdays, 8:00 am] at St. Mary's Episcopal Cathedral, 700 Poplar.
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