Blog Archives

Whit

9/30/2016

“My wife and I started volunteering with Lives Worth Saving nearly two years ago. It’s a once-a month day-long program for women who have been arrested for prostitution. The women are served a nice hot meal and hear speakers from the DA’s office, Health Department, MPD, and others who present them with options to help them leave the street life. They’re given information about housing, job training, drug rehab, and health care. And they see, perhaps for the first time, that there is a way out. Those who attend the program can have that particular prostitution charge expunged from their record.

“I love arranging flowers and making centerpieces for the tables as a part of making the day special for them. Flowers are something women seem to particularly relate to, and I try to use bright, cheerful blooms that convey a message of love and caring. These women are not criminals in the same sense that a violent offender is. So many of the problems they have stem from abuse they’ve suffered at the hands of fathers, step-fathers, brothers, and other men. They’ve been treated as objects for so long that they don’t feel like they have any worth. They don’t know what healthy relationships look like; they don’t know what it’s like to be respected by a man. I’ve heard women say to the volunteers at the end of the program, ‘Today is the first time anyone has ever said to me: I love you.’

“Spending the day interacting with these women, serving them, and getting to know them, you see through the shell into the heart. You see a person who has never had a chance, who doesn’t know her value. They’ve lost any trust they ever had in men. That’s why I think it’s so important to show them that there are men out here who don’t see them as prey, who will honor them and treat them with the respect they deserve.”

You can find Whit and Madge Deacon at the Overton Park Community Farmers Market, 389 E. Parkway N. (at the Pavilion) each Thursday, 3pm - 7pm, April through October.

Whit works on flower arrangements before a Lives Worth Saving day, held at Calvary Episcopal Church (102 N. Second Street at Adams) on the second Thursday of each month. Typically, 15-25 women are in attendance, in addition to the volunteers and leaders.

In addition to their work with Lives Worth Saving, Whit and Madge Deacon are a part of Thistle & Bee Enterprises. From the website: “Thistle & Bee exists to serve victims of human trafficking in West Tennessee. Our social enterprise is built around the manufacture and sale of products made with the honey and herbs produced in our apiaries and gardens. Survivors employed by Thistle & Bee will gain skills and experience needed to rebuild their lives. Thistle & Bee is part of nation-wide network of sister organizations inspired by Thistle Farms in Nashville, TN.”

Helpful Links ---
Thistle & Bee Enterprises: http://www.thistleandbee.org/
Thistle & Bee on FB: https://www.facebook.com/thistleandbeeenterprises/
To volunteer with Lives Worth Saving: http://www.restorecorps.org/contact/
To volunteer with Thistle & Bee: http://www.thistleandbee.org/volunteer
Related article by Commercial Appeal columnist David waters: Former prostitute's story inspires new effort to save others (3/18/2015)
Information about human trafficking in West Tennessee: Restore Corps

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Joseph & Joshua

9/29/2016

Q: "What do you like best about having a brother?"
JOSEPH: "A brother?! I didn't really WANT a brother!"
JOSHUA: "He's somebody to play with."

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Lazariah

9/28/2016

"I like basketball and swimming and nature and dodgeball and doing art and --- I like everything about being six!"

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Bob

9/27/2016

“I had several eye surgeries as a small child, but when I was 31 years old, my retinas just gave out, and the doctors told me I would be blind for the rest of my life. I had worked for a lumber company for several years while I could still see, but of course now I couldn't do that anymore. My wife Helen found a job in the school lunchroom and together we worked to fix up a run-down farm that we'd bought. The two of us remodeled the house and built a garage, a woodshed, and a barn with a hayloft. We tore down the old chicken house, had a concrete floor poured, and rebuilt it into a workshop. Helen was able to start nursing school, which would lead to a better job, but after a while I began feeling very sorry for myself. Here I was, this wretched and miserable blind fellow who was home all day, and she was out early every morning going to school, fulfilled, and accomplishing something. I was jealous of her, even though what she was doing was for the good of the family. I was so worked up with self-pity that I made myself physically sick. The night of her graduation, she had to stop and let me out of the car to vomit on the ground. Right then, a voice within me clearly said, ‘Bob, this is not the way to go. You’re making yourself and everybody around you miserable.’ In that moment, I realized that since I was in a difficult circumstance that I couldn’t change, I needed to bend my attitude to fit the circumstance. Since that day, I’ve never felt sorry for myself.

“We raised our family on the farm. I put up posts and strung wire up overhead all over the property so that I could find my way around. We had cows, horses, pigs, chickens, and white turkeys, but mostly sheep. Some years there would be as many as 30 lambs playing out in the pasture. Helen liked to garden, and after things got tall enough for me to tell the difference between the plants and the weeds, I’d help with the weeding. We had apple trees and made cider every year with our old cider press. Our children and grandchildren enjoyed playing in the two-story treehouse, swinging on the sack swing, swimming in the creek, and going down the zip line. Some of those structures Helen and I built, others we built as a family. In the workshop, I made furniture for the house and toys for the children. Groups were always coming out to enjoy the farm: handicapped children, underprivileged children, people from church and from the community, and the elderly (many in wheelchairs). We had Easter egg hunts every spring. It was a wonderful place, and we made many sweet memories.

“Helen passed away in 2014. I stayed on at the farm for another year and a half, then sold it and moved to Memphis to live with my son’s family. I knew I would have to come sometime. It was emotional, but I’m only one of millions of older people who have to do the same thing. I’ve never lived in town before, but I’m getting used to it. I load and unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, and do whatever I can to help around the house. The more I can do, the happier I am.

“If I could have surgery today and regain my sight, I wouldn’t do it. There are so many blessings that have come my way because of my blindness. The Lord’s hand, seen and unseen, has been with me all through my life. I wouldn’t change a thing - except maybe part my hair on the other side [*laughs].”

Following the death of his wife Helen, Bob moved to Memphis (in July 2016) and now lives with his son Dave and family. He is 88 years old. The following two videos were made by Dave:

Photo below of Bob & Helen is courtesy of Ft. Collins (CO) Portrait Photography:

The following photos are courtesy of Bob's family:

The farm

Making his way around the farm

The workshop

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Mary

9/26/2016

“During the Vietnam war, I was a crew chief on a reconnaissance aircraft, and life was on the line every day. When I got back here to the States, things just seemed kinda off, you know? I looked at life differently. The emphasis on ‘things’ seemed so unimportant and petty. And I didn’t have as much patience. That was my biggest issue. I started doing art therapy at the VA, which helped me relax and gave me peace of mind. It also brought out my creativity, which is something I didn’t know I had. Vietnam changed my priorities. Before, I always thought about making money, but the experience of being in the war taught me that life is important and to just enjoy what I have.”

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Carolina

9/25/2016

"A couple of years ago there was a new girl at school who was really shy and didn’t know anybody. My friend and I were sort of ‘welcome buddies’ to her, and the three of us became really good friends. I thought about that this year when I started a new school. There's a girl there named Molly who made me feel really welcome. She included me in things and introduced me to a lot of her friends. Thanks to her, I have friends now and I’m happy and comfortable in my new school. It’s sort of like the golden rule: You treat others how you want to be treated. It’s important to do that."

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Polly & Kristen

9/24/2016

“My daughter lived in Africa for six years, working first as a photojournalist for a non-profit organization and then as director of a boys’ shelter that takes in street children [Naivasha Children’s Shelter]. There are something like 300,000 children in Kenya who have nowhere to go and no one to take care of them. The problem is so big. She goes out into the streets and gets to know the boys before she brings them in, to be sure they’re willing to work at making changes in their lives. It’s so difficult to let her go, for her to be so far away and in such dangerous situations, but she’s always told me her heart is with those children. Sometimes we don’t have a good Internet connection and it’s not always easy to stay in touch, so of course I worry about her. She was supposed to be at the mall in Nairobi that day in 2013 when all those people were killed, but she had malaria and couldn’t go. She and her husband are in the States now while he finishes seminary, and she’s able to do most of her work from home, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they move back to Africa when he’s done. She’s leaving on Friday to spend two weeks at the shelter. I don't like to see her go, but you can’t protect your child. You have to give it to God. You have to leave it in his hands.”

Polly Sayres with daughter Kristen Lowry, Co-Director of Naivasha Children's Shelter. To read an interview with Keith Okello, who is also involved with the shelter, click HERE.

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Johnny

9/23/2016

“I grew up in Whitehaven going to school with neighborhood kids who looked liked me, but in 7th grade I transferred to an optional program in east Memphis. There were kids of all different races and cultures in my new school, along with a lot of things I had never seen before, like green hair and piercings. It was a culture shock. It took some time, but the relationships I developed in middle and high school helped me realize that different didn’t mean bad. We all had the same struggles.

“As the pastor of a church now, I still deal with those kinds of issues, but I think my high school experiences helped me learn better how to bridge the gaps. Even in a small congregation where all the members are of the same race, people tend to separate themselves from each other because of perceived differences. It’s not just skin color that causes division; economics is another big factor. But when we communicate, when we have conversations with each other, we realize that we have a lot more in common than we thought. Maybe this person is employed at a big corporation and makes a six figure salary, and another person brings home $25,000 a year working at a south Memphis Mom & Pop. But maybe both have gone through a divorce, they’re both single parents now, they both have to juggle work schedules, they both have to scramble for babysitters. When we sit and talk together, when we make the effort to get to know each other, we find ways we can relate to and help each other. Walls are broken down.

“Maybe you live in Cordova or Collierville. That doesn’t mean you don’t have problems. We all do. People who are more affluent have access to more opportunities, but that’s the only difference. Instead of avoiding each other, let’s help and encourage each other. Let’s give each other hope. We’re all human beings.”

Johnny Moore, III, also known as "Pastor J" serves Freedom Church at 25 W. Mallory.
Website: http://befreenow.us/
More about Pastor J HERE.

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Nadine

9/22/2016

“My parents lived in Congo for twenty-five years before moving to Tanzania where I was born. Then, eight years ago, we moved to Memphis. It was hard at first. We tried to learn quickly because we wanted to know what was going on. It took me about 3 years to feel proficient in the language. I’m a high school senior now, and I’m running for president of the International Club at Central. We have students from Asia, Africa, everywhere. I enjoy meeting people and trying to make them feel welcome, like they belong. Sometimes when you don’t look like everybody else or don’t talk like them, you don’t know where you fit in. It can be hard, but you can’t be afraid of people. You have to get to know them and learn how to get along with everybody.

“Next year I start college. I hope to become a teacher and work with kids who are just coming to the United States. I really want to give back what I got. My ESL teachers taught me my ABC’s, how to write my name, things like that, and I want to do the same for other children who are new. I enjoy being with kids; I already have some experience working at Christian camps.

“At home, my mother also teaches me. We all know how to cook African food now. And she teaches my sisters and me how to sew---two of my brothers too. I make my own skirts and bags. My mom makes bags to sell at Caritas Village, and I make scarves to sell. She shows me how to do many things that will help me in life, things that I can do on my own.”

Nadine, surrounded by some of the scarves she makes:

Nadine's sister and mother are also involved in sewing:

Purses Nadine's mother has made:

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LaRon

9/21/2016

“My dad was in and out of the picture when I was growing up, but both my grandfathers were consistent influences. Both were very disciplined men. One grandfather woke up at 4:00 every Saturday morning and swept the street from end to end. I’d be right there with him, even though I hated doing it. I didn’t want be up that early; it wasn’t MY street. But he said, ‘You have to take pride in something, even if it’s just getting up in the morning and sweeping.’ He made it his weekend job to clean up his neighborhood. My other grandfather was always encouraging. I remember calling him when I first left for college. I didn’t want to ask for anything, but I needed money for books. He said, ‘Son, you don’t get what you don’t ask for. You have to open your mouth. Now remember, this is not a loan. You study and get your work done.’ And I did. I got my diploma. Both of my grandfathers were passionate about helping people without enabling them. They let you know, ‘I don’t give handouts, but I will help you see that there are ways to earn.’ One grandfather always said, ‘This is my gift to you: Work.’

“I think my grandfathers’ influence helped prepare me for what I do now as the Work Life Coordinator for Advance Memphis. A lot of times I just walk through the 38126 area and ask people if they need a GED or a job or if they know someone who does. I tell them what we have to offer, and there are people who sign up My favorite part is hearing them say, at the completion of the program, ‘I’m proud of myself for finishing something for the first time in a long time.'

“One guy in particular stands out to me. He had been coming in and hanging out while his girlfriend attended the class I was teaching. One day I asked him, ‘Are you interested in getting your GED too?’ He was kind of bashful to say yes, but eventually I convinced him to enroll. The wheels started turning, and he realized he hadn’t forgotten that much since high school. It was very encouraging to hear him tell me one day: ‘If you had been my high school teacher, I would have finished.’ He completed the Work Life class, got his GED, and is working on his Machine Operator Certification at Moore Tech now. He’s well on his way.

“It’s not an accident at all that I’m doing what I do now. It’s a blessing to be able to use my gifts every day, to let people know I love them, not because of anything they’ve done or will do, but because God loves them. And because I love them too, I hold them to a higher standard.”

LaRon Tripp is the Work Life Coordinator for Advance Memphis, 769 Vance Avenue.
Advance Memphis Phone: 901-543-8525

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