Blog Archives

Ralph & Twyla

1/31/2016

“I built my first house when I was 17. I was a wild child, and building a house was my dad’s wild child reclamation project. I didn’t do it by myself, of course---there were plenty of experts working with me---but it taught me a lot about construction. I also learned that if somebody said, ‘Can you do this?’, my job was to say yes and then figure it out. I worked for FedEx for a lot of years, but I’ve always done construction projects on the side.

“We’re planning to move to Tanzania in April. According to the District Commissioner in the area where we’re going, their biggest needs are for education and clean water. People spend hours every day trying to get water---any water---and most of what they get comes from ponds that animals also use. We’ll be involved in teaching people how to catch clean rainwater in the rainy season, store it, and build bio-sand water filters using materials that they have on hand. Once the filter removes the pathogens (the worms, viruses, bacteria, and cysts), the water is as pure as what we have here in Memphis, and the incidence of disease goes way down.

“Organizations have offered to give us filters but that's not sustainable. If a tank got stopped up or broken, they wouldn’t know how to fix it and they’d be out of luck. But if they learn to build the filters themselves, they know how they work. It takes about a week to build a tank, which gives us a chance to teach them basic sanitation, how to maintain the filters, and how to keep them clean. To be successful, the project has to be reproducible, sustainable, and indigenous.

“It’s a matter of caring for each other and loving our neighbors. Clean water is their greatest physical need, and if we can help, we want to.”

Source for drinking water (photo courtesy of Ralph):

Model of Bio-Sand Water Filter
(Model is clear; actual bio-sand filter is opaque and much larger)

Image below from Aztech Labs, which has a good explanation of how the filters work:

CAWST Biosand Filters Knowledge Base (construction manuals, etc.)

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Jaz

1/29/2016

“While I was working as a security officer, I met a guy who did some recording, and I mentioned to him that I was interested in writing music but had never actually been inside a studio. He invited me to come sometime, but I put it off for a while because I was nervous. Finally one night I decided to go. I never intended to perform; I just wanted to watch and learn, but one of the four engineers asked if I had written anything. All I could think of was ‘What Up, God?’ They told me to stand, and as I performed, I began to cry. I had no idea why. My eyes were closed and I felt alone in the room, as if I were performing only for God. When I finished and looked back at them, the engineers were all staring at me with tears in their eyes. I knew in that moment that we had connected. I felt such peace, a peace so heavy I could touch it, like the presence of God was there. A friend of mine who read the work later called it prayer. I hadn’t realized that before, but it was true. There are people who pray through art, architecture, dance, or music, but mine comes out in words. I’ve come to realize that it doesn't matter what you create; it’s about having something deep inside of you and expressing it. When it becomes a concrete thing---a painting, a poem, a song---it’s so fulfilling. I think God gives each of us a gift that meets a need in this world. The night I first performed, I felt heard and it gave me life. I may as well have been in front of 4,000 people instead of just those four.”

What Up, God?
by Jaz Miller

I smoke more to think less
Messing up, I'm the best at
I look to God
What a mess
I created it
Now bless that
Fix that, now fix me
The last chance meant nothing to me
New beginnings
Same end
Accept that I can't accept peace
Accept me
Just accept me
For who I am
Expect me
To screw up
Take for granted
Then wonder why
You test me
Stress me
It stress me
Why You want the best of me
I take a path
And I do better
Then end up
It's the same me
Tame me
You can tame me
Why You don't just change me
My eyes closed
I can hear You
Don't that sound insane, see
Hear You
I can hear You
I know You want me near You
To put nothing above just fear You
All my wishes begin with dear You
Dear You
Dear God
All my doors all locked from the inside
Try to escape this life
Try to make You proud
Can't find a way out
So I just hide
And I tried my hardest
I can't deny
That I see my flaws when I think of You
You the Word
You the Truth
And I'm made in Your image
So how is it
That I just lied
Try hard
I don't try hard
On a good day
You get a little part
To surrender my soul
And give you my heart
It sounds easy, but it feels hard
And it's not easy
You want the whole heart
When can't You be happy with just a bit
Maybe then, only then
Can I find a way
To deal with it
Compromise, let's compromise
I know it all
Cause the world I'm wise
So how about I do whatever I feel and at the end of the week I'll give tithes
Yeah! That sounds good to me
Besides, giving tithes is a luxury
Wait. What You mean You want more of me
I'm special, You gotta have more from me
Chose me
Why You chose me?
I'm not worthy
Ask anyone who knows me
I give You a little then take what You give
And still I feel like You owe me
Show me
You gotta show me
From my view no soul below me
I have no self will
I mess up still
And when times get real
I fall deep
How is it You see the good in me
There is no good
That's how I have to be
I'm the type of person
Looks happy in the eyes
And still I find its pain I see
Let me help You
To show You
Why I can never be
What you ask of me
I don't do what I'm told
All the grudges I hold
And when push comes to shove
I'll blame You and won't blame me
Can't blame me
You created me
Sometimes I feel You'd exchange me
And if it wasn't bad enough
On the days I fuss
You simply just hush
And I realize
I strain me

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Lolita

1/28/2016

“I have four children, and I pushed education with them right from the beginning. We read together every day; I think I can recite every Dr. Seuss book by heart! [*laughs] I knew I wanted them in Catholic school, so I got a job in the school kitchen, cleaned houses, and worked in retail to pay for it. We were able to get a MOST Scholarship too, and that helped tremendously. When you’re a single mom (my husband and I separated when the children were small), you learn how to stretch a dollar. As each of the kids started kindergarten, I sat them down and told them: ‘I expect you to work hard and do the best you can. You’re going to school every day, and you’re going to do well. You’re going to be obedient, you’re going to follow directions, and you’re going to do what’s right.’ I also taught them that if they started something, they were going to finish it. A lot of people start something and then quit because everything’s not exactly right, but nothing is ever going to be perfect in this world. You start something, you finish it.

“I had to manage my time well to work all three jobs, and the kids learned early to manage theirs too. They played sports and had chores around the house, but they knew their schoolwork came first, so they had to be organized. They also learned how to budget their money. My son is a senior in college now and plans to go to law school. He doesn’t have a car, but he goes to work every day and will graduate in May with no loans to pay back. My twin girls are in their second year of college. They share an apartment three miles from campus and ride their bikes to class. I help with their utilities, but they both work and earn the money for rent. My youngest graduates from high school this year. All three of my girls want to go into the medical field, so I probably won’t be finished helping them for another ten years. But the time will come!

“We couldn’t do any of this without God. Faith has gotten us through. I pray all the time. When my girls tell me their assignments are hard, I tell them: ‘Go talk to Jesus.’ Even here at the school where I work now [Memphis Catholic], the kids sometimes come up and say, ‘Ms. Miller---!’ and it seems like the world’s about to end. I tell them, ‘You go talk with Jesus. Jesus is your best friend. He’ll be with you wherever you are. If you’ve got a friend who’s going to be with you wherever you are, you need to hold on to that friend. Mama might not be there. Sister, aunt, somebody else might not be there, but if Jesus is there, you’re all right.’”

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CM Digital Issue: Jan 2016

1/28/2016

Click to view Magazine in a new window!

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Amerah

1/27/2016

“The abuse started when I was eight years old. My mother’s live-in boyfriend put a gun in my face and threatened to kill me if I told. When I finally did tell, he said to my mother, ‘I didn’t do nothing to her. She’s lying.’ And my mother believed him, even though she could see all the signs. She had her own reasons for choosing a perpetrator, but that’s another story. It happened over and over again, and I kept that secret for years. I found all kinds of ways---in recovery, we call them survival skills---to get through life. I didn’t have any guidance. I just grew myself up the best I could.

“I was in my thirties when I started my healing journey, and I’m 77 now. I went through therapy, earned a degree in social work, participated in 12-step programs for Co-Dependents and Survivors of Incest and Abuse (SIA), started SIA groups in the black community, volunteered in rape crisis centers, and volunteer now for the Child Advocacy Center. I’m not ashamed anymore, and I don’t have secrets. You’ll see that in my articles. It’s hard emotionally, but it’s a relief and it’s healing to tell my story. When I speak to groups, there are always people who come up afterward, some in tears, and say, ‘That happened to me too, and I’ve never told anyone.’ When I speak about it, it gives them permission to talk about it too. It's certainly no secret in my family; we talk about it. I put it this way: We are feeling, we are dealing, we are healing. I want people to know that healing is possible, even from horrific abuses.

“My burning desire is to educate so that it doesn’t keep happening. Acknowledge it. Break the cycle. Don’t say it doesn’t happen to this group or that group. It happens. It happens to human beings. I want people to know that the secrets, the shame, is what keeps us in bondage, and we go through life acting out that pain. If we don’t address it, our children will be affected by it.

“Sexual abuse doesn’t just happen to girls and women; it also happens to boys and men. Our men need to know that it’s okay to tell their story so that they can come out of it too. We socialize boys and tell them, ‘You can’t cry and you can’t tell.’ I’m looking for our men to say, ‘Yes, I am a survivor of rape, and as a result these things happened, so I’m telling my story so that other brothers can heal.’ And then the church: You want to get up there and batter us about this sin or that sin, but you don’t talk about the preacher sleeping with the vulnerable woman, having a baby by her, and then getting up in the pulpit. Let’s say to the vulnerable woman, ‘If the preacher tells you it’s between him and his God---I can talk about it because I’ve been there---you’ll know that’s a lie!’ When you bring abuse into the light, you rob it of its power. Any way we can get the message out, we need to get it out. There are some unresolved issues in our lives and we need to deal with them so that our children, the next generation, can be healthier. It’s going to keep happening until we do.”

Articles by Amerah Shabazz-Bridges:

A Black Woman's Journey Toward Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse (The New Social Worker Magazine)
A Black Woman Naming Her Truth: Multiple Children by Multiple Men (The New Social Worker Magazine)

Works of Heart 2016 Fundraiser for the Child Advocacy Center:
(Click HERE or on the image below for more info / ticket purchasing)

Stewards of Children Training
Contact: Kris Crim, 901-888-4363

ACE Center Task Force of Shelby County:
Shelby County has higher prevalence of childhood sexual abuse and violence between adults in the home than the state and the nation. 20% of Shelby County adults reported having experienced childhood sexual abuse (compared to 11% in Tennessee and 12% across the nation).

Memphis Child Advocacy Center, 1085 Poplar
Website: https://www.memphiscac.org/
Phone: 901-525-2377 or 901-888-4390
Email: info@memphiscac.org

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Lydian

1/26/2016

“When I’m working on a painting, I can't stop. It’s all I think about. I never know what the end product will be; it’s like watching a movie playing out, waiting to see how it’s going to end. I especially enjoy doing landscapes. When you see a great landscape, maybe on vacation, your first reaction is WOW! I use a lot of bold colors in my work because I think they emphasize that feeling, that WOW. The painting I like best is hanging on my sister’s wall right now. I used bold, bright colors and when it was finished, I thought, ‘I’ve found my style.’ My grandmother was the only person on either side of our family who was interested in art. She used bright colors in her work too. We have hundreds of her oil paintings of flowers and outdoor scenes. She was really good. The brightness reflects how I want to be, and when I’m sad it cheers me up.

“My parents have always encouraged me. They bought a binder for my artwork when I was small, and I was always proud to show off my creations when family came over. In the beginning, any critique made me mad---weren’t they supposed to think it was the greatest thing in the world?---but I’ve learned to appreciate critique, use it, and learn from it. Now it’s one of my favorite things. I appreciate being taught, and I want to learn.”

Lydian is a high school junior, takes an Advanced Film and Video class, and is interested in studying film and video after graduation.

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Gabriela

1/25/2016

"When I'm painting, I'm in my happy place. Last year I entered a piece I'd done, Memphis in Music, in a city-wide contest and it was chosen to be displayed in the airport for a year, along with works from two other students from my school. I was really proud of it. It's the first time I've ever felt that way about one of my paintings. I'm not sure about my future plans. I know I'm going to college, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll continue with art. I'm a senior, and I feel like I'm supposed to know all these things, but I don't."

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Montrell

1/24/2016

"I don't do art just because I have a class assignment. I do it because it flows out of me; it's an emotional release. I like exploring different styles of art, such as realism, anime, and Illustration. The characters I draw (usually with Sharpies) reflect the environment I live in. There's the jewelry, clothes like people in my neighborhood wear, and references to violence, alcohol, and drug use---mostly marijuana. You see the red haze in the eyes of the character in front? He's under the influence and doesn't realize that the guy behind him is plotting to kill him. He doesn't even notice it. We'd say he's 'slipping', or not paying attention. That's how it happens around here. People die if they're not paying attention to what's going on around them. I hope that when people see my work, they understand the message and what I'm trying to say."

Detail of the piece above:

Futuristic work:

Montrell's piece on racial profiling and how the media affects youth culture placed in the Mid-South Fair. After his May 2016 graduation, Montrell plans to attend art school. He is also very interested in music.

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Monica & Dorimar

1/23/2016

“People think we [Cazateatro] are an Hispanic theater group but we're multicultural, with people from 6 or 7 different countries. It’s amazing. Someone from Venezuela comes and says, ‘Hey, I am here, I want to help you, and I want to learn English.’ Or ‘I am from India. I don’t speak Spanish, but I want to learn.’ Or an American says, ‘I saw you in the newspaper or on the website. I want to practice my Spanish. Do I need to speak Spanish before I can join you?’ No. Come. You help us, and we help you. In our group, in our performances, we show the diversity of Memphis and of the Latino community. English speakers practice their Spanish; Spanish speakers practice their English. It’s a bridge. Everyone is welcome. Bilingual theater is a wonderful way for both actors and audience members to learn each other's language and culture.

“The scripts come in either English or Spanish and we adapt them. One actor says his lines in Spanish; the other person answers in English, and it goes back and forth. We all work during the day, so it’s difficult to give performances in elementary or high schools, but we’ve done shows at Rhodes College, the University of Memphis, and at St. George’s. And we do evening shows; we held more than 20 performances around the city in 2015. Our rehearsals are very interesting. We have mothers who come to rehearsals and have to bring their kids, so we often use the kids in one way or another too. ‘You are going to be here,’ we tell them, or ‘You’re going to say this line.’ We put everybody on the stage.

“We love it when people bring their kids to a play. Maybe the kids are growing up in the United States and don’t speak fluent Spanish, but they understand what's going on and enjoy it. Maybe they decide they want to participate in theater, or maybe they decide they need to learn more Spanish. We don't want them to lose their language just because they are living here. We want them to be fluent in both and to appreciate how rich and beautiful and brilliant Latin culture is. Sometimes, we think, ‘Aargh! This is a lot of work,’ but we are doing something important for the kids and for the community. It’s like a flower. We plant the seed, water it, and it grows. There’s so much to give, and that’s what we try to do.”

Photos below courtesy of the Cazateatro FB page:

(At right) Dorimar Ferrer, Executive Director / Actress / Theater Education student at U of M
Monica Sanchez, Artistic Director
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2014 Article, Callboard Memphis: http://www.callboardmemphis.com/introducing-cazateatro/
Website: http://cazateatro.org
FB: https://www.facebook.com/CazateatroBilingualTheaterGroup
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/cazateatromemphistn
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Cazateatromemph/media
Google+: https://plus.google.com/104507352583300327113/posts

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David

1/22/2016

"I lived with my grandfather all my life until I came here. We spent time together; he took me with him when he went shopping or fishing or to the beach, and we talked all the time. He's really funny too. He taught me about life, about working, and about how to get along with other people. I moved to the United States from Colombia two years ago, and I miss him."

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