“Marriage was not on my life to-do list. College education, graduate in four years, successful career, nice apartment - check, check, check, check. I dated, had a few serious relationships, and had met Ben before, but he really didn't make much of an impression on me at the time.
“Then I broke a bone in my foot and was really depressed. I was talking to a friend about it, and she said, ‘I have someone I want you to meet.’ I was like, ‘Whatever.’ Well, that ‘someone’ turned out to be Ben. The next day he and I began emailing and messaging each other, and later that night he came over. The rest is history. Ben was an RN, so he knew and accepted my cerebral palsy. In fact, he embraced it. And Ben had his baggage too. He slept with a CPAP machine for his sleep apnea and had contacted hepatitis C, sclerosis of the liver, and liver cancer. We talked about his health, and he informed me he was on a liver transplant list. He was very honest. He wined and dined me like no other. When he proposed marriage, I actually looked around my small kitchen to see who he was talking to. I was cautious because of his debt, which I didn't care to inherit, and practically everyone was against it. Because of my disability, people tend to tell me what I cannot do: attend college, move out on my own, move to downtown Memphis, marry Ben. But we married on February 23, 2007, honeymooned in Natchez, MS, at a small B & B, and moved into a spacious 2-bedroom apartment overlooking the Mississippi River and Court Square Park. I was happy.
“Then, on April 11 at 1:11am, we received a phone call to come to hospital for the liver transplant. There were complications from the transplant, and Ben died three days later. We had fourteen months of marriage. It was happiest time of my life.”
“Then I broke a bone in my foot and was really depressed. I was talking to a friend about it, and she said, ‘I have someone I want you to meet.’ I was like, ‘Whatever.’ Well, that ‘someone’ turned out to be Ben. The next day he and I began emailing and messaging each other, and later that night he came over. The rest is history. Ben was an RN, so he knew and accepted my cerebral palsy. In fact, he embraced it. And Ben had his baggage too. He slept with a CPAP machine for his sleep apnea and had contacted hepatitis C, sclerosis of the liver, and liver cancer. We talked about his health, and he informed me he was on a liver transplant list. He was very honest. He wined and dined me like no other. When he proposed marriage, I actually looked around my small kitchen to see who he was talking to. I was cautious because of his debt, which I didn't care to inherit, and practically everyone was against it. Because of my disability, people tend to tell me what I cannot do: attend college, move out on my own, move to downtown Memphis, marry Ben. But we married on February 23, 2007, honeymooned in Natchez, MS, at a small B & B, and moved into a spacious 2-bedroom apartment overlooking the Mississippi River and Court Square Park. I was happy.
“Then, on April 11 at 1:11am, we received a phone call to come to hospital for the liver transplant. There were complications from the transplant, and Ben died three days later. We had fourteen months of marriage. It was happiest time of my life.”
Kim volunteers with The Arc Mid-South and is a member of the Memphis Advisory Council for Citizens with Disabilities. Read more about her here:
- NACBHDD article: Disabilities Advocate Marks Down Businesses She Can't Access
- Commercial Appeal newspaper article: Life with disabilities cultivates passion for advocacy for former Collierville High student
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