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Gus

1/1/2017

 
“If I could meet anybody personally, it would be Jesus Christ, and I would ask him why I’m not healed --- why I’m not delivered --- from alcohol, drugs, and the world. I been crying out ever since I was 20. That’s when I first started doing drugs. My mother loved me; she’s the one who kept things together, but after she died, it seemed like I just didn’t care anymore, and I started doing things that weren’t good. I’m 54 years old now, and I’ve been in a lot of rehabs. 
 
“It’s a big world out here, and it’s lonely when you ain’t got nobody you can cling to. I’m a loner. I’m always drifting. Drifting away. I used to go state to state, city to city, trying to get away. Why I was running, I don’t know. I was just trying to find some comfort but everywhere I’d go, the stuff I go through was still there. I think I been seeking the kind of love my mother gave me, love without conditions.

“I don’t know what Jesus would say. I just don’t know. I think I’ll meet him one day; I believe I will. I be talking to God as I be walking along the road, and I know he loves me because I’m still here, I’m still in this world. He’s the one who created me, so I know he understands. He said if you believe, all things are possible. And I believe, but I ain’t healed yet. I just deal with life the best I can. I cope with it, and I stay to myself a lot. I’m looking for spiritual comfort. I haven’t talked to nobody about that, but I’ll get around to it.
 
“I been trying to do things my way, but my way’s not working. My way just ain’t going to work. I believe God is trying to break me from the things I do by the trials and tribulations I’m going through. If I was healed, I believe I’d be living then. I’d be living life, and it would be wonderful. I’m not really living now.”
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