“I've always been a farm girl. Even after my husband and I sold our place and moved to a small town, I didn’t want to feel crowded, so we bought a house that was off by itself. I missed the farm, seeing the wild deer and turkeys, but it was good that we moved because it wasn’t long before my husband got sick. When he died, I lived by myself for several years. Then my daughter started talking to me about moving to Memphis to be with her. I thought, ‘Oh, no. No. That’s too big a place.’ I was happy where I was and I liked my independence. There was an OATS Bus that came by and took me anywhere I needed to go. I didn’t have to rely on anybody. I did come down for long visits though. I spent the winter here three years in a row. The first visit was hard. It was so different trying to adjust to living with somebody again. My husband had been gone for a while, and I was used to being by myself. When you live with somebody, you have to figure out whether this person wants to go this-a-way for that-a-way. You each have your own way of doing things. I don’t care how old you are, it’s hard. You’ve got to be conscious of being kind to somebody every day and you don’t always feel like it. Every time I visited, I was ready to get back to Missouri, to my home, in the springtime. Then I fell and couldn’t do the things I used to anymore, and I finally decided to move in with my daughter for good. It was sad to think about selling my home, but things change. It was time to turn a new page in my life.
“I like Memphis better than I thought I would. I’ve made friends in my Sunday School class, and my daughter takes me to the Dixon and the Botanic Gardens. I love to see the flowers. She lives on a quiet street too, so I don’t feel crowded. I’m by myself during the daytime because she’s busy with work, so it feels comfortable. I always look forward to her coming home in the evenings, though. We have our routines and everything works fine. There’s not any friction. I have a bedroom and a bathroom, and I can go back there anytime I want. I finally feel like I’m at home. It worries me sometimes that I’m doing things I shouldn’t be doing, but my daughter says she likes having me here. Still, I try not to be in the way. I took care of my father-in-law and my mother---Mama lived with us for three years---so I know how that feels.
“The hardest adjustment has been losing my independence. Instead of just hopping on the bus like I did before, I have to rely on my daughter to take me to the doctor, to the dentist, and anywhere else I need to go. It’s like I’ve reverted back to being a child again. I feel like, ‘I am not a child. I can take care of myself.’ But when you’re older, you have to depend on somebody else to take care of you. It’s a big change.”
“I like Memphis better than I thought I would. I’ve made friends in my Sunday School class, and my daughter takes me to the Dixon and the Botanic Gardens. I love to see the flowers. She lives on a quiet street too, so I don’t feel crowded. I’m by myself during the daytime because she’s busy with work, so it feels comfortable. I always look forward to her coming home in the evenings, though. We have our routines and everything works fine. There’s not any friction. I have a bedroom and a bathroom, and I can go back there anytime I want. I finally feel like I’m at home. It worries me sometimes that I’m doing things I shouldn’t be doing, but my daughter says she likes having me here. Still, I try not to be in the way. I took care of my father-in-law and my mother---Mama lived with us for three years---so I know how that feels.
“The hardest adjustment has been losing my independence. Instead of just hopping on the bus like I did before, I have to rely on my daughter to take me to the doctor, to the dentist, and anywhere else I need to go. It’s like I’ve reverted back to being a child again. I feel like, ‘I am not a child. I can take care of myself.’ But when you’re older, you have to depend on somebody else to take care of you. It’s a big change.”
RSS Feed