"We had a strong family, and that carried over into raising my own children. As my three boys were growing up, we had open house conversation two nights a week, where I said, 'What's going on in your life? Feel free to speak now. If something is bothering you, you need to get it out and we'll help you. You can always talk to your parents.' We had strong moral rules in our house too. I told my boys, 'This is what you're going to do, and this is what you're not going to do.' I taught them to be around people who would help them go in the right direction. I told them, 'If you're doing something wrong and you don't leave it behind, it will leave you behind on down the road.'"
"My older brother drowned when he was 9 years old, and my mother had a nervous breakdown because of it. She was institutionalized for a year, but my father stayed strong and took care of us. I never saw him cry, although I know it hurt him. He wasn't a church-going man, but he was loving, with a heart of gold, and he always prayed at the table. He always said, 'Tomorrow's going to be a better day. We're going to make it through this.' When my mother came back home, her sisters kept her busy and that helped her heal.
"We had a strong family, and that carried over into raising my own children. As my three boys were growing up, we had open house conversation two nights a week, where I said, 'What's going on in your life? Feel free to speak now. If something is bothering you, you need to get it out and we'll help you. You can always talk to your parents.' We had strong moral rules in our house too. I told my boys, 'This is what you're going to do, and this is what you're not going to do.' I taught them to be around people who would help them go in the right direction. I told them, 'If you're doing something wrong and you don't leave it behind, it will leave you behind on down the road.'" "I came to Memphis on a whim, just because I thought it would be a cool place to go to school, but I had a hard time when I first got here. I didn't know anybody, and I got into some trouble trying to deal with the loneliness. I did a lot of stupid stuff that I won't go into, but then I got involved with a Christian group on the U of M campus, and things turned around. I walked into one of their Monday night meals and just stayed. Now, when new freshmen come in, I kinda 'get' what they're feeling, especially that first semester, and I try to welcome them as much as possible."
"When I grow up, I want to be a pediatrician because I love taking care of kids and I want to help them feel better. My favorite part will be the little babies. The worst part will be when they cry really loud."
"I had four children and was widowed at an early age, so I had to work two and three jobs to make ends meet. I'd get home from one job and have to head out again in the evening to the next one. When my daughter was a teenager, she got into trouble with some girls she was friends with, and I asked her, 'Why don't you tell me what's happening? Why are you so distant from me? Why can't we talk like we used to?' Her statement to me was, 'You're never here.' That cut me to the heart. I told her, 'You know why I'm not here. Somebody has to pay the bills. Somebody has to put food on the table and clothe you. I'm the only person supporting us. What do you expect from me?' I used to beat myself up over that, but it's what I had to do."
"The happiest day of my life was when my first grandbaby was born. She's 4 now. My third grandbaby was born the same day as Maggie here, so they're the same age: two years old. I have four daughters, four granddaughters, and one granddaughter on the way. The best thing about being a grandparent is, I can spoil 'em and send 'em home!"
"I'm the last of 14 children, and we lived in a little house where we burned coal oil lamps for light and you could reach through the floorboards and feed the chickens. When I was 3 years old, I got hit by a car and was unconscious for a year and 45 days. One day at the hospital, Mama was sitting by my bed and said, ' I'm about to give up on you. Looks like you ought to smile or laugh or something' and that's when I woke up. I said, 'Mama!' and she hollered so, everybody on the other end of the hospital floor came running, thinking I had died. Six months later, I was home. My right side is still partly paralyzed, but I don't let anything stop me. If I can't fix something because of my hand, I can look at it and tell somebody else what to do and they can fix it. You wouldn't believe the kind of work I do: I'm a roofer."
"The person who's had the biggest influence on my life is my granddad. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on his farm. He only had a first grade education, but he taught me to work hard, to do things right the first time, and to treat people right. He also taught me how to fix my car. I can get on the Internet and watch a YouTube video about how to do something, but he didn't have that. He figured things out himself and taught me to do it too.
"My girlfriend gave me the Spiderman coat. She said, 'You're a dork. That suits you.'" "The happiest day of my life was the day I got out of the military. I traveled a little bit after that and worked all kinds of jobs, but I'm unemployed now and on disability. I'm trying to get a job doing janitorial work."
"I'm from Cuba, but a lot of people aren't sure what to do with that. Here, most people think only in terms of 'black' or 'white', but no, Cuban is different. For example, I cook Cuban food, and we speak Spanish at home. I don't want my children to lose that."
"What do you want most for your children?" "I want them to graduate, go to college, not be racist, and not pre-judge people. Being a parent can be hard. Every day is a new challenge." "The day was May 5, 1993, and I had been in and out of jail 30-something times for aggravated assault, aggravated robbery, prostitution, and drugs. Mostly drugs. I was going to court expecting to get 3 years probation for a drug charge, but I was high on marijuana and lying on the stand, so Judge Joe Brown (yes, the TV judge) gave me an indefinite sentence. That meant there was no release date. You get out when the judge decides to let you out. It's at his discretion. I had four daughters, and Judge Brown talked about how my daughters needed me, how they were going to grow up to be prostitutes, and how people would use the same lies and deceit on my girls as I had used on women. He said that I might be doing time physically, but they were doing time too. "I was at the Shelby County Correctional Center when my youngest girl came with her mother for a visit. She wasn't even a year old yet and this was the first time I had ever seen her walk. She was a Daddy's girl. Wherever I would go, she wanted to follow me. When visiting time was over and I had to go back in, she didn't want me to leave. She cried and tried to follow me. That's when the judge's words really hit me; they were true. My girls needed me, and I wanted to be there for them. I went back to my cell and cried. I just knew I didn't ever want to leave them again. 'Shock incarceration' is what they call it when you think you're getting probation and you get an indefinite sentence. It worked for me. It truly worked. "That was 21 years ago. Once I was released, I never went back to jail. My life is completely different now. This December I'll graduate from the University of Memphis with my B.A. in Human Services. I've been with HopeWorks for 13 years now, teaching classes and trying to help guys who are in the same position I was in." Antonio Owens, graduate of Hopeworks and now a teacher with the program, is pictured with the daughter who visited him in jail that day in 1993. Hopeworks is a non-profit organization serving the under-resourced in the Memphis area, striving to "break the cycle of crime, addiction, and generational poverty" through education, counseling, and career training.
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March 2021
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