"The song ‘Fred and Me’ came out of my dialogue with a college friend and my interaction with Friedrich Nietzsche's writings (‘Fred’ in the song). I struggled a lot in those years with questions of faith, such as: 'Am I lying to myself? Is God real?' and 'Do I belong in a church?' When I moved back to Memphis after college, it was easy to slide right back into a church community, but I didn’t know why I was there anymore. Was it just a comfortable, pleasant habit, or did I really believe what I claimed to believe? I debated whether it was nobler to suffer in truth or to prosper in lies; that is, I thought I had to choose between intellectual honesty and faith. My questions led to a lot of thinking and reading. I was determined to examine my doubts, find out what was true, and live by it. The song expresses the internal conflict I experienced during those dark days: the back-and-forth, the questions and accusations, the replies. I came out of that struggle knowing that if I said I was not a believer, I would be lying. I can’t pretend I don’t believe. I do believe in God, I do believe God is active and that I have a part to play. I do belong in a faith community. Even in times of doubt, I still walk in his grace."
Lyrics to Fred and Me:
“You’ve let them cloud your mind again with their culture and laws
You think because you’re happy now that your foolish faith in God is the cause?
You selfish pleasure-seeker; you set your intellect aside!
In the name of acceptance you lay yourself bare
To the church and its claws.”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” I answered plainly. “This is not about me.
I’m here to help people grow into people
The way the species needs them to be.
I know my part is minor,
I know I play it well,
And in the name of independence, you think I should deny them?
Brother, I disagree.”
He said, “You’re dodging the real issue:
What does God mean to you?
Your friends say he’s a magic sky-man,
Please don’t tell me you think so too?
You could find ways to do good without perpetuating lies.
If you’re going to tell people you’re a believer,
Then it has to be true.”
“And what if I said I’m not a believer?
That is surely a lie.
Even you must concede we are throttled by mystery.
Some secrets won’t submit to the eye.
This world emerged from darkness;
Now beauty dances in the light.
In rough terms I could tell you how,
But without God, I cannot explain why.”
“So then, you side with faith and comfort?
How convenient it seems!
Once you swore to me you thirsted for virtue.
What happened to those aspirant themes?
You choose the path of solace,
Turn from the hard road you once sought,
Like the masses, forswear what you cannot accomplish!
Now I grieve for your dreams.”
“I feel no shame for growing up,
Nor for seeking my place.
You can claim what you want about motives -
That it’s a coward or a sucker who prays.
I feel God’s purpose in me
I can’t be sure it’s Him
But the funny thing is, even if I decide not to notice,
I will walk in God’s grace.”
“You’ve let them cloud your mind again…”
“You’ve let them cloud your mind again with their culture and laws
You think because you’re happy now that your foolish faith in God is the cause?
You selfish pleasure-seeker; you set your intellect aside!
In the name of acceptance you lay yourself bare
To the church and its claws.”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” I answered plainly. “This is not about me.
I’m here to help people grow into people
The way the species needs them to be.
I know my part is minor,
I know I play it well,
And in the name of independence, you think I should deny them?
Brother, I disagree.”
He said, “You’re dodging the real issue:
What does God mean to you?
Your friends say he’s a magic sky-man,
Please don’t tell me you think so too?
You could find ways to do good without perpetuating lies.
If you’re going to tell people you’re a believer,
Then it has to be true.”
“And what if I said I’m not a believer?
That is surely a lie.
Even you must concede we are throttled by mystery.
Some secrets won’t submit to the eye.
This world emerged from darkness;
Now beauty dances in the light.
In rough terms I could tell you how,
But without God, I cannot explain why.”
“So then, you side with faith and comfort?
How convenient it seems!
Once you swore to me you thirsted for virtue.
What happened to those aspirant themes?
You choose the path of solace,
Turn from the hard road you once sought,
Like the masses, forswear what you cannot accomplish!
Now I grieve for your dreams.”
“I feel no shame for growing up,
Nor for seeking my place.
You can claim what you want about motives -
That it’s a coward or a sucker who prays.
I feel God’s purpose in me
I can’t be sure it’s Him
But the funny thing is, even if I decide not to notice,
I will walk in God’s grace.”
“You’ve let them cloud your mind again…”
Adam Nelson teaches music to young children (ages 5 & under) in the Music for Aardvarks program. Read more about him HERE. His song Fred and Me is on YouTube. Listen HERE.
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