“The thing my grandmother taught me that stuck with me more than anything was this: She used to tell me all the time, ‘When you get old enough and you start working, if you make a quarter, save fifteen cents.’ I always used to ask her, ‘What am I going to do with fifteen cents?’ And she said, ‘Just keep living, baby. You’ll find out.’ So every time I made some money doing little outside jobs like washing and ironing and babysitting, I put some aside. Years later, when I was about fourteen, my mom’s granddaddy died over in Arkansas. My mom said, ‘I want to go to the funeral, I want to go see about Papa, but I don’t have the money.' I told her, ‘Well, I’ve got some.’ She asked me where I got it from, and I told her I had saved it from the little jobs I did. So we had enough money for both of us to go to Arkansas to Papa’s funeral. I felt so good that I could help. That day I felt like I had conquered the world.” "I tried to instill the idea of saving in my kids and grandkids when they were little. The bank gave my grandson a little piggy bank and I taught him to save his pennies. When it was full, we’d take it to the big bank. I’ve never bought on credit. I save up and pay outright for what I get, and I send in the payment for all my bills on time. I don’t want to owe anybody." More advice from Dorothy's grandmother: "You’ll meet a lot of different people in life and it doesn’t cost you anything to be polite and friendly to them" and "Not everybody who smiles at you is your friend." Dorothy adds: "I’ve always strived to do my best in life."
“When I was small, Mother left me in the care of a man and his wife while she and my older siblings picked cotton on the couple’s farm. It’s how she made money for our school clothes all the time we were growing up. In the mornings when Mother dropped me off with them, she would tell me, ‘Behave and do what the man says’, never imagining that anything bad would happen. She trusted these people; they were part of the church that my daddy pastored. But something bad DID happen. Over the next two years, the man sexually abused me. I never told my parents about it because I was too young to know it was wrong and I’d always been taught to obey. That early abuse set me up for more abuse later on. I was molested again when I was eight and another attempt was made when I was twelve. I didn’t say anything to Mother or Daddy those times either. I thought adults were always right, and if there was an issue, then I must be the one at fault. I continued to mature physically and mentally, but because of the abuse, parts of me were stuck at different ages. My life gradually became unmanageable. By the time my own kids were 12 and 16, they were maturing past me emotionally. I no longer knew how to handle dealing with them, so I took them for counseling. The counselor said, ‘And we can help you too.’ I said, ‘No I’m fine.’ Fortunately, she didn’t laugh at me. She put me into Lakeside for an intensive week, and over the next year, I began to deal with the pain caused by the early abuse. I began to grow up. “Then, one Sunday I was in church when a woman came to speak about a program she had started in Nashville for women coming out of prostitution and drug addiction. An audience member asked how many of the women in the program had been sexually abused. I heard her say: Almost all were abused before they were 11 years old, and certainly all were abused after the prostitution began. Suddenly I realized I could have ended up on the streets. That could have been my life. Thankfully, I had a family who held me close, but a lot of women don’t have anyone around them who cares. “That day, the idea for the Lisieux Community was born, a ministry that provides housing and help for women who have been trafficked and who want a different future for themselves. It’s intense work, both for them and for the staff, but it’s important. These women could have been me. They could be any of us.” Sandra Ferrell, Lisieux Community President and Executive Director
From the website: The Lisieux Community provides a home for women who have survived trauma, addiction, trafficking and prostitution, all part of life on the streets. The women learn to live in community as they access other organizations to assist in healing. We believe that the women do not begin a life on the streets on their own, but through the culture in which we live; we want to inspire change now to transform the culture itself. Website: https://lisieuxcommunity.org FB: https://www.facebook.com/LisieuxCommunity “I’ve learned from my dad that you should stay away from the wrong crowd, be independent, and that you should have friends who really are your friends. Some people will come around when you have money, but when you don’t, they’ll leave. Those people aren’t really your friends. I work with my dad most weekends and he’s teaching me how to take care of houses. He owns five houses, and I’m learning how to work on them and do things like building stairs. When I’m an adult, I want to give back to the community and teach my own kids to give back to the community too. I’ll teach them how to give people chances because some people never have a chance.”
“I’ve been painting murals for a while. Right now I’m doing one at the corner of Kyle and Netherwood, on the side of an abandoned building that the city owns. There was graffiti all over it. I take my kids to school down that way, and I’m thinking, ‘No kid should have to see that in the morning. They should see something positive.’ So I just took it upon myself to get some paint and get busy. When it’s finished, it will be called 'Our Children Matter.' The hands are representative of the community, the parents, and the schools. What everybody puts into children really does affect them. It’s kind of like the village thing. All those hands go into forming children in this world. I’m trying to work with a nonprofit so we can do more of that around Memphis in areas where there are abandoned businesses. Those kinds of things just make neighborhoods look run down. I’d like to see somebody buy the building on that corner, put a store or a business in, and bring something positive to the community.” In our conversation, Gerard referred to the Shelby County Land Bank and its mission of making county-owned real estate (such as the abandoned property pictured above) available for purchase at a nominal price. For more information about how this works and the conditions for purchasing such property, go to https://landbank.shelbycountytn.gov/. From the website:
Making County owned real estate available for acquisition by individuals, companies and organizations in the private, public and not-for-profit sectors through sales and nominal consideration conveyances is a job that keeps the Shelby County Land Bank very busy. Currently, the Land Bank has available over 4,509 properties of which 462 have residential or commercial improvements thereon. The majority of these properties were acquired by the County through delinquent taxes. The rest of the properties were initially purchased by the County for a particular public purpose but have now become surplus. It is the Land Bank's mission to get these properties back into productive use by responsible owners as quickly as possible in an effort to preserve property values, encourage redevelopment in the older communities, revitalize neighborhoods, minimize blight, maximize our tax base and reduce tax-supported expenses. “When you have Alzheimer’s or dementia, you’re sometimes frightened or anxious because you can’t remember where you are, who dropped you off, or when they’re coming back. When I first started working here, a woman came up to me, pointed to her name tag, and said, ‘This is my name and I’m not sure where my family is, but I think they might be looking for me. Can you help me?’ That broke my heart. People often withdraw too because they can’t find the words, but when we do art together, they just come alive. They are reconnected to positive memories and to places where they used to feel comfortable and strong. In art class we get conversational, laugh together, and talk about all sorts of things. They see that it’s a fun place and that there’s no pressure. We’re doing a house project right now and we talk about, ‘What would your dream house look like? What color would it be? What was your childhood house like? What do you remember about it? What was your favorite thing?’ The more you get to know them, the more fun it is to pull these stories out and see them get excited about sharing a happy memory or a memory of something they accomplished that they’re proud of. I’ve really learned through this year that my job is to help them forget that they can’t remember. My goal is to connect them to their skill sets so that they realize they still have something to offer. These are brilliant, valuable people with incredible life stories. I’ve seen people talk to the elderly like they’re young kids, and they’re not. They have a great sense of humor, and when you get them talking, when they’re comfortable in a conversation where they feel like they’re knowledgeable, they shine. “We had a 1940’s week recently, and it ended with a big shebang on Friday, which was Hat Day. We printed up pictures of what the women used to wear, what the men used to wear, and we created the hat structures with papier-mâché and balloons. They got to pick their fabric and all the buttons and feathers to decorate them, and then we wore them that Friday. It was fabulous. My boss was going to a ladies' tea and she came in and said, ‘I’d like to wear one of your hats’, so she took it out into the community and got to talk about what we do. Some of the ladies wanted to make sure nothing happened to the one they made, so they told me, ‘That’s my hat, put my name on that hat,’ and I said, ‘Yes ma’am, I will. I know that you love it.’ “When they see me, they might not remember my name, but they know my face and they know that I love them and that we have a good time together, so they light up. They make me miss my grandmother.” "We celebrated National Donut Day by making fabric donuts. Some of the ladies said, 'I don't remember how to sew', but as soon as they picked up the needle and thread, it came back to them. They did remember after all!" Heidi models hats from 1940's Week: Heidi Walter is an art teacher with Page Robbins Adult Day Center, 1961 S. Houston Levee Road - Collierville, TN 38017 - Phone: 901-854-1200
"I teach religion to almost 400 girls ranging in age from 3 to 10 years old. They come from many different backgrounds. There are Christians of all sorts, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, those with no faith---and the message I’m trying to teach is: Love your neighbor. If you understand your neighbors, it’s easier to love them. You don’t have to agree with them, but you do have to get along with them and you do have to show them respect. If we can ignite that in all of the girls and they take it with them, the world’s only going to be a better place." Mary Henry Thompson, Religion teacher and Chaplain for the Early Childhood Center and Lower School at St. Mary's Episcopal School, with husband Brad, Director of St. Columba Episcopal Conference & Retreat Center.
"I am from Bangladesh, and I feel good today, becoming an American citizen. Everyone here is helpful to everyone else and gives priority to each other. There is not so much crowding or pushing. I have one daughter, and I am teaching her to work and serve for the betterment and ultimate success of everyone. That is my aim as well. Right now I am working toward my PhD in electrical engineering at the University of Memphis."
"I feel wonderful. It's like a dream, because we remember where we came from and all that we've been through to come to the United States. Now we're here; we're American citizens, thanks to the good Lord. Without him, we are nothing. All the glory is for him. He brought us to the promised land."
“For the past seven summers, I worked in the wheelchair cabin at a camp where the focus was on people with cerebral palsy. It just so happens with this camp, that we’ve had more kids with autism, so there’s not been as much physical labor involved. It’s been more about working on social skills and just doing things to help the kids have fun. We’ve gone swimming and boating and down the zip line, and we really enjoyed taking the paddle boat out on the lake the other day. Once we almost tipped over, but we all worked together and figured it out and got out of that little situation. Noah and Will paddled us back to the dock. William’s taught me a lot about patience and understanding and about working with my mind and heart. We’ve had a really good week so far, just hanging out and having a good time.” Photos from Camp Able: From the Camp Able website:
Camp Able serves youth with a variety of challenges, ranging from cerebral palsy and Down syndrome to autism. With a 1:1 counselor/camper ratio, each camper will have the opportunity to experience all camp activities, including low ropes course, swimming, canoeing, exploring nature, arts and crafts and worship. “Camp Able focuses not on what a camper can’t do, but what he or she CAN do,” says Camp Director John Dreyfus. “St. Columba is a great fit for Camp Able, not only because of what our campus offers, but also because of the West Tennessee diocesan network that gives us access to an extensive and generous support system as well as many enthusiastic volunteers that will make it an unforgettable week for these special campers.” Camp Able is located at the St. Columba Episcopal Conference & Retreat Center, 4577 Billy Maher Rd. CONNOR: "I'm 18 years old, and I like everything about the camp. I like arts and crafts and the water slide and swimming. Swimming is my favorite. It's fun." NOAH: "It's my birthday today. I'm 14. I think I'm going to have a birthday cake today. Chocolate. And I think I'm going to have ice cream too. My mom's going to get me a Super Mario Maker. I like to play video games. I have 4 dogs too. One of them is named Burrito. He's not that big. The others are big, but not Burrito." Hiking through the woods with camp counselor Steven Quach (center, blue shirt): From the Camp Able website:
Camp Able serves youth with a variety of challenges, ranging from cerebral palsy and Down syndrome to autism. With a 1:1 counselor/camper ratio, each camper will have the opportunity to experience all camp activities, including low ropes course, swimming, canoeing, exploring nature, arts and crafts and worship. “Camp Able focuses not on what a camper can’t do, but what he or she CAN do,” says Camp Director John Dreyfus. “St. Columba is a great fit for Camp Able, not only because of what our campus offers, but also because of the West Tennessee diocesan network that gives us access to an extensive and generous support system as well as many enthusiastic volunteers that will make it an unforgettable week for these special campers.” Camp Able is located at the St. Columba Episcopal Conference & Retreat Center, 4577 Billy Maher Rd. |
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March 2021
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